What Are You Waiting For?

What Are You Waiting For?

Probably every one of us can think of a time in our life that involved a difficult season of waiting. Maybe you have been waiting to find that special person, get a new job, a bigger house, or you could be waiting for the test results to come back.

Or quite possibly, it’s simply waiting for direction on what to do next. 

My husband and I know that wait very well.  For four years we felt the Lord calling us to do something drastic but couldn’t get clarification on what it was.  During that season, a friend of mine had asked me to help edit her first book as she was writing it. What God did during that time was so beautiful. He gave me a step by step guide on how to wait well.  As I read each chapter I gained wisdom and insight into our wait. 

waitandseeblogtour2 I began to see things differently, look at our situation in a new light, and learned to focus my desires on the Lord instead of the “object of my wait”.  I’d love to share a little about that book with you and who better to give you the details than the author herself, my sweet friend Wendy Pope.
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My She Speaks 2016 Conference Recap

My She Speaks 2016 Conference Recap

 

Heading out to the She Speaks Conference last weekend here in NC, I prayed that God would reveal to me what it is He wants me to do.  It’s been a crazy year, an even crazier 6 months, and I’m tired of this feeling of not knowing what my purpose is.  You know when you have something in your mind, and it turns out to be nothing like that at all?  That would be what I feel right now.

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image1In my mind I hoped that if I immersed myself in Gods word, and listened to passionate and knowledgable writers and speakers,  I would come away with a game plan. Returning home I’d be ready to take on the world and write as I’ve wanted to…would know what to write about and how to do it to the best of my ability.  There would be clarification of purpose, an identity if you will.  

Instead, a quote stuck with me.  Like stepping on sticky, gooey, gum left on the pavement in the 100 degree NC heat in my shoes… these words hit me and I can’t shake them off; “Many people can relate to your failures and frailties.  Therefore, THIS is your connection to helping people.” (This is where if I was texting, I would add one of those little gagging emojis!)

On Saturday morning I sat in a class led by Lysa TerKeurst of Proverbs 31 Ministries, entitled “Your Very Best Idea Ever”.  Sounded like just what I needed- the catalyst to propel forward.  But, no.  Instead, it was a lesson that stopped me in my tracks and made me really consider what God would have me write about.  “The very things God won’t take from you, that you beg Him to, is the key.  The habit, the curse, it’s a special assignment.”

I’ve run from this habit, this curse for so long.  Ever so often, I’ll stop and realize how destructive it is, how controlling. How much it affects my self esteem and my identity.  To be honest, the thought of trying to fight this demon again makes me want to quit before I even start. (Any other quitters out there? Can I recommend an amazing book for you? 5 Habits of a Woman Who Doesn’t Quit ).

Yet, I see how faithful God is, how patient and loving He has been with me over the years. I’m so grateful for the 3 simple words I walked away with this year, words that really sunk in and have begun to take root in my heart.  “Slow, Durable, and Beautiful.” Shauna Niequist filled me with the desire to work on these words, to create a life that is shaped by them.  To fight what the world says, and to listen to what the Lord says.  “Stop right now and remake your life from the inside out.” Nicki Koziarz said “Victory is found in the uncomfortable places of life.” Lysa reminded me to “Feel it, Heal it, and Reveal it” and in order to do all of these things I have to “Stop trying to achieve and slow down to receive.”

I don’t know what this all looks like, but I do know that the only way I can truly find my calling is to be with Jesus…

“We must be with Him before we go out for Him”, (Lysa TerKeurst).

Tomorrow is a new day, and one of my new words is consistency. Not just in life situations, but in this writing thing that I have such a love/hate relationship with.  I covet your prayers, and hope to be able to share more in the upcoming days about my struggle. Maybe you too battle with this “thing” and we could support and spur each other onto victory in Jesus.  It’s all about Him anyway and when we keep that as our focus, everything else will fall into place.

To be continued…

*( If you would like to hear what other women that attended She Speaks had to say about their time there please click on the link below! There were 1,000 women on the waiting list this year…if that gives you an idea of how powerful this weekend is.)

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Broken to be Healed

With a significant surgery happening in the next week, my brain has been in overdrive.

My oldest daughter is having an operation on Wednesday to repair a long standing problem with her hip. She has gone for the past 5 years with an incorrect diagnosis, which we’ve only just recently become aware of. Thankfully, by Gods grace, we were put in touch with a specialist who was able to correctly diagnose the problem and will hopefully be able to repair it. Phil413

It’s not an easy surgery.

Continue reading “Broken to be Healed”

Losing, yet winning

Losing, yet winning

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” ~Romans 8:28

I was lost in the moment. Sitting on top of Mt. Arbel while on a trip to Israel, I was incredibly aware of as how close we were to Jesus. There have been times before where I’ve been caught up in a moment of worship, or touched by something I heard or read… but nothing like this. We were overlooking a rugged terrain and had just learned that this place may have been the actual site of the feeding of the 5000. A herd of wild goats meandered up the side of the mountain and my camera was calling. Setting my Bible, notebook and water on the rocks I headed down the path… all the while wondering if Jesus had walked this path, sat on these rocks, felt the warm sun on His back. It was a beautiful place that that seemed frozen in time, untouched by the human hand.

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Will you let go in order to let God?

Will you let go in order to let God?

“The degree to which you yield to Him impacts the work He will accomplish through you and the changes He’ll affect in your life”, Dr. Charles Stanley.   For the first time it was clear to me this morning, I have completely let go.  Let go of my desires, my wants, my wishes…. and have let God have full run of my life.  Well, I can guarantee that something will pop up every now and then to prove me wrong, but for now I’d like to think I’ve been successful.   As I sat this week in 2 different “Faithfully Fit” classes and listened to the women talk about their struggles, the frustration of life in regards to their weight… I realized how far I have come.  How have I gotten to this point? I let go.  I prayed that God would take my desires and replace them with His, that He would give me peace in allowing Him to have full rule of my life.  Don’t get me wrong, there are certainly issues that come up daily but I have this overwhelming sense of peace in regards to my health.  For the first time in my life I am not ruled by an eating disorder, whether it be Anorexia, Bulimia, or emotional eating.  I eat to live, not live to eat.  I run to God now when I am sad, anxious, stressed, happy, frustrated, excited…whatever the emotion- I run to the Lord first now, not food. Continue reading “Will you let go in order to let God?”

Looking at my to-do list through the lens of opportunity

8631598684_8bef45dda2_zFeeling completely overwhelmed after looking at my schedule for the week, I headed out for a walk.  The fresh air always does me good in the morning, clears the cobwebs away I guess.  Running through my head were the feelings that had been circulating through my mind this morning… Continue reading “Looking at my to-do list through the lens of opportunity”

Beauty in the sticky messes of life…

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Beauty in the sticky messes of life

I’m not sure what it is exactly that gets my mind going a million miles an hour while I’m walking Bella, but if you catch me talking into my phone and recording things next time it’s because there is so much that comes to mind and I don’t want to forget it! Two things in particular this morning really hit me. I see all of the flags starting to go up around town, in peoples yards, on FB profile pics…It seems like so long ago but I wonder how many people on this day in 2001 appreciated everything that came their way. None of us are promised tomorrow…did those victims know that?Did they live in a way that showed that? What about the families left behind…did they make the most of the last day they had with their loved ones? Did they set the craziness of life aside for a few quality moments with their child? Were they intentional to tell their husband they loved them before they fell asleep that night? Continue reading “Beauty in the sticky messes of life…”